


Dress for Success

by memorizingthedigitsofpi



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Bus Kids - Freeform, Comedy, Gen, Snark, caption contest winner, season 1 AU, we tease because we love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 21:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8301077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memorizingthedigitsofpi/pseuds/memorizingthedigitsofpi
Summary: The BUS kids - Skye, Fitz, and Simmons - are hanging out in a port town while the rest of the team are tracking down their latest baddie. What better way to pass the time than shop for souvenirs and drink margaritas?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [delicatelyglitterywriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicatelyglitterywriter/gifts).



> I made a manip that made me laugh so much I decided to turn it into a caption contest. This is one of the captions, I received. 
> 
> “This radioactive gem of a couple have once again demonstrated how perfect they are for each other by buying these matching vinyl-print shirts."

"FitzSimmons! You _totally_ have to get these!" Skye laughed, holding up the Thing 1 and Thing 2 shirts at a vinyl printing stall.

"We're not _things_ , Skye," Fitz said, rolling his eyes. Then he put on a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses. "Who _buys_ these things?" he asked, pointing to them.

"I do!" Skye answered, snatching them from his face and adding two more pairs to her growing pile of items.

"Skye," Simmons admonished her gently. "Do you _really_ want to spend your money on... that?" She squinted skeptically at the cheap souvenirs Skye couldn't seem to get enough of.

"On what?" Skye asked, looking at her like she was nuts. "Things that are _awesome_? Psh yeah!"

"None of this stuff is awe-" Fitz broke off as he spotted a Hawaiian print shirt. "Nevermind. _This_ is awesome!"

Jemma's forehead wrinkled in dismay. She'd managed to convince Fitz not to bring any of his poorer fashion choices onto the BUS with them, but it seemed that he missed them enough to squander his money on an overpriced eyesore to replace them.

"But-" she started, but Skye slapped some money on the counter and grabbed her purchases, then she dragged her across the street to a cantina.

"C'mon, Simmons," Skye prodded. "I'll buy you a margarita. Loosen up! Have fun! How often do you get to hang out in paradise and get _paid_ for it?"

"Well," Jemma smiled weakly.

"Yes!" Skye pumped a fist in victory. "You too, Fitz!" she called over her shoulder.

He nodded as he finished paying for his new shirt. "Meet you there," he called back. "Just going to change into this."

"Oh god," Jemma muttered as she sank into a chair.

"What is it with men and ugly shirts, right?" Skye asked sympathetically as she waved at one of the servers. "Tres margaritas, por favor."

* * *

Two hours and several margaritas later, they were back at the souvenir stand.

"C'mon, _please_?" Skye begged, holding up the shirts again. "They don't have to say 'Thing' if you don't want! I asked the guy and he said he could write whatever!"

"What?" Fitz hiccuped. "Like 'Biatch'?" He giggled to himself and then apologized to the clothing rack he bumped into.

Simmons giggled, too, stopping only when she snorted. "Oops. Sorry," she apologized with a small blush.

"Perfect," Skye grinned, going back to the stall's owner and giving him his instructions.

"Oh, Fitz!" Jemma said, pulling him over to her by the front of his godawful shirt. "This necklace is the same purple as the palm fronds on your shirt!"

"I should get it!" Fitz agreed, nodding vehemently. He stumbled. "You're always talking about accessories being important, right?"

"Right," Jemma nodded. "That's why I got the drinks glass that matches my lipstick."

Fitz frowned down at his own alcohol receptacle. "So why'd you tell me to get blue?"

Jemma sighed impatiently. "To match your _eyes,_ of course."

"Oh. Right. Of course," Fitz nodded, not really understanding but not worrying about it too much, either.

"Your shirts!" Skye announced dramatically as she returned with the custom-print items.

"Oh my god!" Jemma stared in shock.

"No way!" Fitz laughed. "Dibs on #1!"

Jemma grumbled, but let him have it.

* * *

They were a bit bedraggled by the time they returned to the BUS. Still too drunk to explain their lateness but not drunk enough to not care.

"Do I want to know?" Coulson asked, arms crossed over his chest, as he looked at the three of them. Even in the dark. Fitz and Skye were wearing heart-shaped sunglasses, but Simmons just looked like she might be sick.

"I decided that we needed to take advantage of our down time to have five minutes of vacation," Skye told him.

"Five minutes?" Coulson sniffed. "Did you spend it scuba diving in tequila?"

"We spent it swimming in the local culture," Skye argued. "And supporting the local economy." She held her head up and tried to look officious, but it was ruined somewhat by a large burp. "I, the lovely and beguiling computer genius with a track record of adventure and a penchant for fun, invested in romantically-themed eyewear and some local kitsch to add to our interior design while this radioactive gem of a couple have once again demonstrated how perfect they are for each other by buying these matching vinyl-print shirts."

Coulson blinked slowly, but his poker-faced smile never left his face. "Stow the kitsch and the eyewear and put on a pot of coffee," he told her. "Wheels up in five. We've got a bad guy to put behind bars."

Skye groaned and FitzSimmons stumbled their way into the lab. They tried to take of their tshirts, but Fitz got hopelessly tangled in his and Jemma lost her balance and had to sit down abruptly.

"So much for vacation," Skye grumbled.

"Our next stop's Paris," Coulson told her with a grin. "If you all behave yourselves, I'll tell May to buzz the Eiffel Tower."


End file.
